A Conversation with Myself

Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment onwards you can be an entirely different person, filled with love. 

I love this note, a dear friend of mine send it to me. 

Thanks a million, Jean.

Yes, I am in pain. They know it however choose not to acknowledge it to me.
I personally think that they simply don't understand the illness and what I've gone through and my current affair.
What makes they think that they're done the right thing, when they're not??? Yes they talked to each other and have the comfort they need to back them up. However they failed to understand the root of the problem.
I have no longer trust them and they have lost my respect with their actions.
They have caused deeper pain to me...
I'm not asking for sympathy but simply for them to understand and have empathy towards me.

Now I realised that in our darkest moment, we do need someone to listen, someone to turn to, it could be a friendly professional, some rely on those who are older and wiser, others seek someone who knows what they are going through, but for most of us nothing is quite so therapeutic as a good long talk with a 'good old friends'...
But for me personally, it's not talking to a good old friends but talking to God, a good honest friends, writing, FBing and blogging is very therapeutic indeed. 
:)

Little that I know it will turn out the way it is today.
I know that not everyone would like to talk about their personal problems and as far as I am concerned, I may not wish to share what happened to me with anyone else, even though she/he goes a long way back.  I did however, asked she/he to try to understand and be supportive in the circumstances I am in.
As I see it, not everyone wishes to solve their personal problem by talking about them to others. This is not say that they are less effective at handling difficult issues.

A true friend accept this and does not insist on disclosure. If she/he still does not contact me, then as a true friend, I have no doubt wish to respect  her/his decision.

I accept that we cannot control what happens to us. 
For all I know and believe, Allah swt knows what best for us all.

For every person who do not want to be my friend, theres someone else who likes to be my friend, and I have got no control over who those people are. 


Peace and make no enemy in life.

 

2009 was a real test for me....
from my health, friendship, relationship, career and much more.
Towards the end of 2009, I've been tested again, and again and again..specifically on TRUST
Despite the hardship, it was the best ending for me to remember...and a good start for the
new year. :)

I am thankful for the experience Allah swt gave me...
Alhamdulillah, I'm humbled, grateful and realised it's all a reminder and a
guidance from Him. It makes me stronger and closer to Him.
May He keep guiding me, and showing me the path...path to the righteous
I am SO grateful to be blessed with the sixth sense...

It's hard for me to diggest at times,
those experience has brought the ugliest out of me...
Also show the true colours of others around me....
Now that my vision is clear, I am able to see how some are simply truly Mean, Queen B and a Fire starter in nature....
Despite of that, I also knew who will be there for me...regardless...


I am only human and I can feel the pain. It's easy for me to forgive but it's not that easy to forget......
I still look at the good things in others so hope time will healed..........

As for now, I'm enjoying every moment of my life n will make the most of it.

and as for 2010,

May HE make your year a happy one!

Not by shielding you from all sorrows and pain,

But by strengthening you to bear it, as it comes;

Not by making your path easy,

But by making you sturdy to travel any path;

Not by taking hardships from you,

But by taking fear from your heart...

I love it!

xoxox